Dundee and Celtic this week mooted in public the idea of playing a competitive league fixture across the Atlantic.
Cue endless drivel about "promoting the game", "building the franchises" and "developing the brand".
Once you cut through the bullshit, you find the real reason.
"There's gold in them thar hills!"
Yes big bucks is the main motivation here. A pointless PR exercise designed to get the suits a nice little junket abroad.
It raised memories of the English Premier League trying to include a "39th game" on their fixture card to be played in America.
Thankfully that was put to one side, but let's not kid ourselves the English set-up did it for altruistic reasons.
Look at the obscene amounts of money that league rakes in via TV deals to see that the transatlantic version of a Monday night in Stoke was not really needed.
But now some in Scotland are looking at the idea.
All in the name of "raising the profile".
But what good is that when (real) football is not even the number four sport in the United States let alone the main one.
(Real) football, despite being low down the pecking order in the US, is doing reasonably well.
Given the MLS competition has only been on the go for two decades one would say the game there has made huge progress in such a short space of time.
The United States international team has done well in three out of the last four World Cups it has performed in.
Lest we forget the women's United States team are the current World Champions.
Domestic (real) football seems to be producing decent home-grown players that can do well on the big stage.
And we're expected to believe that a Premier League match between Dundee v Celtic will register on their radar?
Only if the two of them quit the Scottish set-up and joined the MLS it might.
No, the Americans are doing just fine thank you.
"This will give our fans over there the chance to see their favourites play" is another example of verbal diarrhoea from the marketing buffoons.
Permit to throw one of your terms back you - peddler of snake oil that you are.
You remember them don't you? The mugs who turn up every week in the wind and rain that both Glasgow and Dundee has to offer and sit in the freezing cold on an overpriced bit of plastic just to cheer your club on?
They are treated badly enough by yourselves as it is and now you want to deny them a fixture that some of them will have already paid to go and see via the season-ticket sale?
"But it's only a one off."
File that one in the section marked "Codswallop".
Once this precedent is set, you can guarantee that some wet plank in a suit will suggest we have another transatlantic jaunt. And then another.... and another....
Before too long, your club has the address of c/o Philadelphia registered with the SFA.
Think I'm joking? Never under-estimate the power of idiots.
This sort of adventurous (read foolhardy) proposal is nothing new to Scottish football.
Pie-salesmen and unbelievably incompetent football club owner, Chris Robinson, tried to engineer a Scottish League fixture between the club he once tried to ruin, Hearts, playing against Celtic in....... Melbourne, Australia.
Expanding the brand, raising the profile and other assorted items of bollocks were cited by Robinson when everyone back then knew it was a desperate ploy to get him and Hearts some money to keep the bank sweet.
The official press release (made available to rehash by those not keen on analysing anything) read as follows:
"The chance to go to Australia presents us with an opportunity to widen the awareness of Hearts and market our brand in a new area of the world."
As it happens, Hearts do have a supporters club in Melbourne but one suspects their numbers wouldn't even pack out Tynecastle Park itself, let alone Melbourne's massive MCG stadium.
Back then, the vice-president of the Federation of Hearts Supporters Clubs, Robin Beith, was scathing about the idea....
"It's ridiculous. My first reaction on hearing this news was, 'how is a supporters' bus going to get there?'
"Competitive matches should be held for the benefit of those clubs' fans and matches played under the auspices of the SPL or the SFA should never take place outside Scotland.
"I've already spoken to representatives of the club and I understand there is a lot of money involved, but where do you draw the line?
"If someone else comes up with a big cheque to play our next three home games in Holland, do we take that as well?
"If Hearts want to play Celtic in a pre-season friendly in Australia, then that would be fine but that's where this should begin and end. As far as I am concerned, our home matches should be played at Tynecastle.
"I mean, I am against moving to Murrayfield, never mind Melbourne."
1. Will the club who has this down as their 'home' game, offer a reduction in the price of season tickets given many supporters who buy these will not be able to jet off to the United States?
2. Will both clubs offer to fly out and accommodate (in good hotels) supporters based in the UK who buy match tickets or have already bought season tickets? Seems only fair not to deny your regulars the chance to see the team play.
3. If 'no' to question two, why not? It is your most loyal of supporters that you are inconveniencing by not playing this fixture within a relatively short driving distance (as compared to an expensive eight-hour flight).
4. Why do you even want to sacrifice a game being played at Dens Park or Parkhead in the first place?
5. Why not do more to entice more people closer to home to pack your own stadiums? Build the game in your own backyard as Charlie Nicholas rightly points out here.
6. What's this really about? How does going across the world to play a fixture that can easily be played at your own ground improve the game in Scotland?
We can answer the first part of the last question. It's a chance for the boardroom buffoons to make some chance by selling a few strips abroad. Not to mention a few relaxing days away on America's eastern seaboard.
Meanwhile, the loyal fans back home will sit at home comforted by the fact that the game might be available to watch on television - for a nominal subscription fee of course.
Those running the clubs get their overseas junket and some loose change in selling a shirt that they were going to change the design of within the next six months anyway.
While forgetting what being a proper football is really about.
As the late Sir Bobby Robson said....