Nothing wrong with showing off what you have to sell but spare the public's intelligence from endless exaggerated guff designed to describe your product as something that it's not.
Last month, Hearts announced they were to build a memorial garden at Tynecastle Park which would honour the 1914 team that served in WWI.
Seven of that side would die in that bloody conflict.
An honourable move by the club as most people would agree.
One thing that did catch my eye was the offer at the end of that announcement which stated that supporters would have the opportunity to purchase their own personalised plaque in the garden.
I emailed the club to ask if the proceeds of the plaque sales would go to them or to a designated charity (ie. British Legion or another organisation that helps with armed forces veterans given that the garden commemorates those killed in action 100 years ago).
Today, I got a reply from the marketing officer of Heart of Midlothian, Dylan Kelly, who instead of giving the simple answer of either "club", "charity" or "proceeds will be split between both", decided to give me the hard sell instead:
Firstly apologies for the delay in this reply – but thank you for your interest in our Forever In Our Heart Memorial Garden.
In the busy, modern world in which we now live, it can be a difficult to find a peaceful, contemplative space in which to remember those who have gone before us. The Forever In Our Hearts Memorial Garden offers that space.
Unique in British football, it is located on the site of the famous Tynecastle Shed – at the corner of the Wheatfield and Roseburn Stands – and is entered through a magnificent steel gate. The centrepiece of this intimate space is captivating bronze and steel sculpture of the club’s iconic crest. Raised from it middle is a bronze football that we hope will become a touchstone for generations of Hearts fans.
A custom-built room for quiet reflection forms a key feature. It includes an ornate stained glass window, originally made for and presented to Hearts legend John Robertson. Over-looking the Garden (from Spring 2016) will be the stunning 1914 Memorial Trust bronze statue depicting a soldier from the 16th Royal Scots Battalion.
Secure a personalised engraved Heart:
Now you have the opportunity to honour a friend or loved one with a personalised engraved heart that will proudly adorn the walls of the garden. In brush polished stainless steels, the Hearts are available for £215 (including VAT)
As one of the first supporters to enquire about the Memorial Garden you are invited to apply for a steel Heart by completing the attached form and returning with payment to the Ticket Office. All orders received by Thursday 19th November will be produced and installed for the grand opening in December.
Thanks again for your interest and we look forward to hearing from you.
Maybe he misread my question? Well if my query was as long-winded as the reply I could make an allowance for that.
But I feel I would be far too generous in coming to that conclusion.
Nope, I got the big sell - just a wee bit patronising.
Although I did chuckle at the phrase "located at the site of the famous Tynecastle Shed".
From what I remember of that part of Tynecastle before it was done up were the world's worst toilets and the fact that the bigoted morons amongst our support would stand there and proclaim to be up to their knees in Fenian blood and the occasional monkey chant if Mark Walters was playing for the opposition.
Not something I'd want to fondly recall - there's a reason why I sat in the benched area of the Shed back in the day. Not wanting to be near those dinosaurs was it.
That aside, the reply in general echoes the disconnect with supporters that I mentioned in the blog entry I cited at the top of this piece.
Hopefully this young man will revisit my original question and give a more direct answer instead of another attempt at the big sell.
Over to you Mr Kelly.