The idea would usually be absurd and would always cause his superior, the long-suffering Captain Mainwaring, to grimace and utter out the legendary catchphrase: "Stupid boy!"
Kilmarnock striker Kris Boyd had a Private Pike moment this week claiming that Rangers' demotion to the third tier of Scottish football four years ago has been the prime reason for Scotland not qualifying for a major tournament since 1998.
This site has discussed the so-called demotion before but for appearance's sake Boyd is incorrect to call it as such.
Rangers FC were liquidated and a new club with a similar moniker were told that like all new entrants to the Scottish league, they had to start at the bottom.
That aside - though obvious a point it is - you do have to wonder why whoever was dutifully recording Boyd's words did not stop to ask him to clarify his reasoning even further?
One starting point would be how Boyd could explain Scotland's inability to qualify before Rangers slashed their own jugular by causing themselves to be financially liquidated?
Between Scotland's last qualification in 1998 and Rangers' death knell in 2012, the club that had once played out of Ibrox were very much alive and kicking and picking up league titles and other cups.
Yet Scotland could not qualify for a major tournament. Whose fault would that be Kris? After all, the club you see as being key to the national team's well-being were competing for big honours during that spell.
Let us ignore that oversight though and cast our eyes back to the days when Scotland were qualifying for major tournaments.
You would assume by Boyd's logic that his panacea to the Scotland side's footballing ills would have packed out the squads that did have our nation playing on the big stage in the past.
The first tournament that Scotland reached was the 1954 World Cup in Switzerland.
Of the squad that went, the top clubs in terms of player representation were Celtic, Hibernian and Partick Thistle with three players each. Rangers had no players at all in that squad.
Four years later Scotland qualify for the 1958 World Cup in Sweden.
In terms of player representation, Rangers do top that list with four players with Celtic and Clyde behind them with three.
Perhaps Boyd is on to something here? Let's move to the next tournament we reached.
We had to wait 16 years for our next major one (and this was an era in which Celtic and Rangers picked up European trophies). However, we did make the World Cup in 1974 held in West Germany.
The club that contained the most players in Willie Ormond's squad was Leeds United with five. Celtic had four with Manchester United having three.
Rangers only had the one player. Given 1974 was Scotland's best showing in a major tournament (out first round but came home unbeaten with a win and two draws), Boyd's theory is back on thin ice.
Then came Argentina 1978 and the fiasco of Ally MacLeod's tub-thumping resulted in a nation finding out the hard way that hubris does not win you a World Cup.
Nevertheless, we did qualify for that one and Rangers are indeed well-represented in that squad.
Along with Aberdeen and Nottingham Forest, they contribute three players with Manchester United having the most with four.
As a side note, is noticeable the contribution that the English league has made to the Scotland national team with those last two qualifications.
The English game would offer up more Scots four years later come the World Cup in Spain 1982.
While Aberdeen contributed the most players with four, both Liverpool and Ipswich Town were joint second with three each. Rangers did not even provide one.
Come the World Cup in Mexico in 1986, Rangers would have one player in the squad but it would be Dundee United and Aberdeen with five and four respectively who provided the most.
Not surprising given the Aberdeen and Dundee United sides were doing well both home and abroad in the early to mid 1980s with Rangers having a lean spell with low crowds, no league titles in that period and scraping a 5th placed (mid-table) finish a month before that World Cup took place.
Can't remember anyone at the time saying this was bad for the national side - maybe young Kris was inbetween sips of milk at his school's breaktime? Who knows?
Moving on and Rangers would top the player representation charts in more ways than one for the 1990 World Cup in Italy.
Along with Aberdeen, they contributed three players to Andy Roxburgh's squad.
However, they also gave four to Bobby Robson's England squad.
As 1990 remains England's best World Cup outside of 1966, maybe Boyd should be demanding the English FA sending a shuttle load of players up to Ibrox for top World Cup training?
Wishful thinking perhaps.
Come Sweden 1992 and Scotland have qualified for their first ever European Championships - and boy does Boyd's theory get a boost here.
Four Rangers players make the squad but Dundee United provides the national team in equal measure with Celtic and Hearts supplying three apiece.
Maybe Kris should have demanded Dundee United be catapulted back into the top flight that they were relegated from last season?
They do have form after all for having players that get Scotland into big tournaments. 1992 and 1986 being a good year for the Tannadice crop.
Scotland make the European Championships again when it is held in England in 1996 and Rangers are out on their own as the topped the player representation charts with four players. Blackburn are second with three.
Finally, we come to the last tournament that Scotland has qualified for to date. The World Cup in France 1998.
Rangers only had one player in that squad. Celtic had eight. Blackburn (three) and Aberdeen (two) are a distant second and third respectively.
Footballers putting forth and argument or recollecting an incident that has more holes in it than a block of Swiss cheese is nothing new.
I've been the interviewer on such occasions in the past. To spare their blushes I will not name them but conversations that I've had with two former Northern Ireland internationals spring to mind.
One told me about a great goal he scored against Bulgaria. One glance at the Rothman's Yearbook for that season showed that he did no such thing - needless to say, that recollection never made it into that week's edition of The Weekly News.
Another spoke of a "fantastic incident" that involved Jimmy Nicholl and I was told that I really needed the man himself to tell me it.
One call to Jimmy later and it transpires that Chris Nicholl was the man I needed to talk to.
It sounds like Boyd at best has got his wires crossed like those chaps.
However, whoever took down Boyd's words of wisdom should have done a bit of checking themselves before committing to print.
But given the increased workloads of journalists these days due to staff cuts enforced by management (who themselves still find enough spare cash for a bonus or two) I can sympathise if time was an issue (one posting in Glasgow had yours truly doing the job of four people after a major redundancy purge).
So, in light of this, the ball should be played back into Boyd's corner for not thinking before he spoke and for not even doing some basic research (the above stats took me five minutes) to try and support his argument.